Manipulated Page 16
She shook her head, looking a little upset. "You don't want me to stay?"
Lara looked to me, and I knew I was trapped. But the truth was I was happy about being trapped this way. "Okay, I'll just text Brodie. I like having you guys around too much to let you go."
They hugged me, and we walked into the salon. I texted Brodie to tell him he could leave, but he just insisted he'd come back for me when I was ready. I didn't know where he was going in the meantime—probably to Lauren's to sleep with her—but I decided it best not to even ask.
The time flew by pretty quickly, and when Jenna, my stylist, finished drying my hair, I had trouble holding in my sadness and happiness and just feelings in general. It was back to my original golden blonde hair color with a new addition of strawberry blonde highlights framing my face. She gave me long layers in the front and blow-dried it super straight. With all the work it took to get away from the black, I was really surprised at how soft it was.
"You look amazing," Mace said, clapping her hands together.
"Brodie's gonna flip," Lara said, smiling.
"Not yet. I need to do some more shopping." I wasn't going to go all "Lauren" in terms of style, but I had a visual in my mind of a semi-short, flirty sundress that was so against my black-hair-black-clothes look that I thought he really would flip. But I wasn't just doing it for him, I felt like I needed to flip. As cheesy as it sounds, I needed to force myself to live in the skin I was in. I wasn't a depressed emo girl, and it was time my wardrobe admitted that.
A half hour later, I added two skirts and two sundresses to my pile of clothes and changed into a white cotton sundress that just reached my mid-thigh. I slipped on my heeled sandals and ran my fingers through my hair as I looked in the mirror—really looked in the mirror. I did not look like Lauren. I didn't feel like Lauren. I didn't feel like I was trying to look tough or mean or even sexy for Brodie—I felt like me. I felt more like me than I had in a really long time.
As I left the restroom, I realized my chin was pretty damn high, and I didn't even need to tell myself to put it there. Mace started laughing the second I walked out. Lara shook her head slowly, smiling.
I spun around. "What do you think?"
"You look like someone else," Mace exclaimed.
Lara stood up and hugged me. "You look comfortable, Risa."
"I am. Can you text the guys and tell them where to find us?"
She laughed. "I can do better than that, but you have to trust me."
Trust Lara? I could do that. I nodded, and she pulled out her phone.
Ten minutes later, we were sitting on some benches in the middle of the mall when Lara shoved at me. "Go into that store there, and don't come out until I text you."
"Wha—"
"Just go!" she pushed.
I followed her orders and went into the candle store, leaving my bags with Lara and Mace. The store smelled great—a mixture of sweet, pleasing scents—like peaches and vanilla. I looked around for a few minutes until I found a spot where I could see Lara and Mace sitting on the bench.
I watched Sammy and Brodie walk up with some blonde girl with them. Seriously? Was the entire mall full of chicks just waiting to jump Brodie? This one was dressed a little more conservatively in shorts that actually covered her butt cheeks and a black tank top. Her blonde hair was seriously out of a bottle and looked really brittle. Whatever, I thought to myself. If he was more interested in these other chicks, let him have them. My chest burned and boiled over the thought, but I'd get over it. I could get over him. But the sick feeling in my gut only worsened at that thought. My phone vibrated and Lara's text came in: Come on out.
I stared at a candle. Why did I have to be in love with the asshole?
"Sweetie, can I help you with something?"
I turned to see a tall, blond, extremely cute guy staring at me. "Oh, I—I'm just looking, thanks."
His eyes wandered up and down my body, making me blush. He had to be in college. "Well I can help you find something nice for yourself, maybe a nice candle for a family member, a gift for a friend, perhaps?" He stepped closer to me. "Or I can give you my number in case you decide you're in need of any kind of help later. I'm all about customer service."
My cheeks felt on fire. I didn't know what to say. I stared at the floor for a minute before unscrambling my brain. "Uh, thanks again for offering to help, but I'm really just looking around."
He touched my arm. "Feel free to look as long as you want. And be sure to let me know if you change your mind."
I think I giggled a little. Not because I was interested in the guy, but because he was interested in me. It was just so not the norm for me and being flattered instead of fearful or guilty was... nice. I smiled genuinely at him. "I will."
He walked away, and I looked around for a few more minutes before feeling completely confident about walking out to Brodie and whatever chick he'd stumbled upon. I was not some easy chick he could pick up in a mall in twenty minutes. If he didn't see that I was something special to commit himself to then I'd—I'd—well I'd cross that bridge when I came to it.
As I walked up, Brodie was poking at the girl's ribs and laughing. I wanted to punch him, but I kept my face neutral.
"There she is," Lara said to Sammy, who looked in my direction but right past me. Brodie was too busy with his stupid chick.
Sammy's forehead wrinkled. "Where?"
"Hi Sammy?" I said loudly, which was when jaws hit the ground. There aren't many moments in a girl's life where you have that amazing feeling that you're being appreciated as a supermodel—well maybe not a supermodel, but it almost feels like you are. This was that moment for me.
Sammy didn't say anything, just continued to stare as I walked slowly closer. At my voice, Brodie stopped flirting with the skanky girl and turned his gigantic gray eyes to me. I'd never seen him look so shocked.
Sammy was the first to recover and stepped forward. "Damn, Risa. You look hot." He pulled me into his arms, and I almost backed away. Sammy was not the flirtatious-hands-all-over-you type, at least not with me. It felt very off, but he whispered, "Go with it. It's Lara's idea." I nodded and relaxed. He took my hand. "Turn around so I can check you out properly."
I did and could feel his eyes on me. It was really weird, but I could see Lara trying not to laugh behind him. "You like what you see?" I said as seductively as possible.
"Damn, baby. You know how to surprise a guy."
At the word "baby," Brodie moved away from his chick and came to my side. He touched my hair. "I wasn't expecting the blonde."
His chick came forward. "Yeah, I had mine that shade for a while, but lighter looks more natural." She put her hand on his waist.
I looked away from her and Brodie and back to Sammy. "It's as close as they could get to my actual hair color, that way I won't have to dye it again. Natural actually looks the most natural." I could practically feel her glare on me, but more than that, I could feel Brodie's eyes on me. I finally turned to him. "If you're busy with—with—I'm sorry, I don't know this one's name—but if you'd rather I catch a ride home with Lara, it's not a big deal."
Sammy took my hand in his. "Actually darlin', I'd be happy to take you anywhere you're ready to go."
The way he said it made me think he was well informed about my lack of experience, but I shrugged that off. "I'd really appreciate that, tha—"
Brodie moved between Sammy and me. "Don't make me hurt you," he said to Sammy, but I felt like it was for me too. "If you're ready to go, I'll take you home."
"Brodie," skank-chick pouted. "I thought we were hanging out."
"We were," he said bluntly, "and I'm leaving now. See ya, Serena."
It was probably obvious and pathetic, but I bent down very deliberately, checking my bags and exposing my long legs. I grabbed the handles of my bags and straightened up. Behind me, I just noticed the candle store guy watching me from the doorway.
Brodie came to my side immediately and whispered, "You look amazing."<
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Now see, before my little realization, I would have been swept off my feet by his sultry voice and sexy smile, but he was just all over another freaking girl. My heart was still aching. I smiled a little at the guy in the candle store and didn't look at Brodie even though I was speaking to him. "Thanks. He thought so too. Tried to give me his number and offered to help me in any way he could."
Brodie's eyes turned vicious and evil as they wandered to where candle-store guy stood. He returned them to me. "Risa—"
"I'm exhausted. You ready?"
He nodded, and I walked ahead of him toward the exit.
Commitments and Green Circles
He was by my side not five steps later, pulling at the bags in my hands. I was going to fight him on it because I didn't need him to baby me, but I was so extremely exhausted all of a sudden. I swear it wasn't just a ton of bricks hitting me; it felt like an entire brick factory had fallen from the sky onto me. When he put his hand on my back, I leaned into him.
"You okay, Risa?"
I nodded and forced myself onward. When we reached the exit, he opened the door for me. The cold air hitting my legs made me rub my arms. He stopped me just outside the door. "Sunshine, stop for a minute." He leaned down, trying to look at my face. "Baby, look at me."
My throat had become a little sore, and I just wanted to close my eyes for a while under a warm blanket. I lifted my head, but I had to do it slowly because it felt like it weighed a hundred pounds.
"You don't look so good."
The longer we stood there, the worse I started to feel, but I'd been sick before. It just never hit me so fast. "Just cold and tired."
"Cold? It's like 73 degrees out here." He put his hand to my cheek.
I stumbled away from him. "You're hands are cold."
"No, baby, you're burning up." He put his arm around my waist, and I let him guide me toward his truck. "This is probably from that flu shot, but I wanna take you home and have Grams look at you. You're too pale."
We got to the truck, and he opened the door for me, but I just stared at the seat. It wasn't that high, but I still had to pull myself up to get in, and I couldn't find the energy to do it. Brodie put his hands on my waist like he was going to help me up, but I was so tired.
"No, I can't." Despite being angry at him and hurt, I let my head fall to his chest and almost cried with exhaustion.
"You're scaring me, sweetheart." He kissed the top of my head and picked me up, setting me gently in the truck.
His truck was nice and warm inside. I curled up as best I could and closed my eyes. Brodie pulled me into his side and wrapped his arm around me, and I was too tired to stop him. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds before I fell asleep.
"Risa? Baby, I'm gonna take you inside."
My eyes felt glued together. I was so cold and yet my body felt on fire, but I had a little more energy. I blinked several times as Brodie's truck came into focus then Brodie's dark green townhouse. I shook my head. "I wanna go home, Brodie."
"I can take care of you, and Grams can make sure you're okay."
I scooted away from him and toward the passenger door. "My dad can take care of me. That's his job, Brodie. He wants to be in my life permanently. He wants that job."
"I want to take care of you. You're just not letting me."
Images of Brodie with Lauren and the blonde slaughtered me and made me nauseous. Slowly, tiredly, I asked, "Please, just take me home?"
"You're sick. I'm taking care of you."
I scooted a few more inches away. "You have plenty of girls waiting for you to take care of their needs. Take me home and go find one. I'm not in the mood to play games with you."
The smile in his voice pissed me off. "Are you jealous, sunshine?"
I turned to look at him, but everything felt kind of fuzzy and far away. "No, Brodie. I'm hurt."
Maybe I was imagining things, but he actually looked upset. I couldn't tell if it was regret or fear or I didn't know, but his eyebrows were drawn together, and his lips were pulled tight. I felt immediately guilty. I wasn't his girlfriend or anything. He hadn't led me on or made promises to me. I knew what this was and what it wasn't going in. He'd done nothing wrong.
I sat up a little straighter and stared out the window to the street in front of us. "I'm sorry. It's not right for me to blame you. You were just doing what you do. It's just—when you hold me or make me feel like you really care about me or sometimes when I just look at you, you make me feel like—you make me forget that you're not the boyfriend type." I stared at my hands in my lap. "But that's my fault not yours. You've done nothing wrong here; I just can't do this casual thing anymore."
"Is that why you did all this? The hair, the dress, the heels—you did all this to make me want to be your boyfriend? It doesn't work that way, sunshine."
I shook my head slowly. "I did this for me and because I let them change me. I wanted to tell you that earlier, but—" I didn't want to mention that I'd gotten too hurt at seeing him with blondie to actually speak to him. "I don't play games, Brodie. I've been manipulated far too much to do that to someone else." I was so drained and just wanted to cry, but I knew I had to push through the rest of what I had to say. I loved him, but I couldn't keep waiting to see which chick he was gonna show up with next. "I thought I could handle whatever this spending time together thing is between us, but I—I can't anymore."
"So what is this the 'let's be friends' speech?" He sounded angry, and the word "friends" made me wince.
"No." My voice was so small and weak. I swallowed, but the pain there only made me feel worse. "That's what we've been, Brodie, friends. I think we should—" My chest ached with the acrid burning of my heart. I didn't want to lose him, but I knew I wouldn't survive getting more attached to him only to find him screwing some other chick. "I don't think we should talk anymore."
"That doesn't make any sense. You're just being melodramatic, and you don't feel well. We'll talk about this when you've rested."
I shook my head and pulled out my cell phone.
He smashed his palm into his steering wheel. "I can't believe you of all people are forcing me into a commitment. I never thought you'd try to trap someone."
I just kept shaking my head as I opened my text messages. I put in Dad's phone number and typed, I'm at Brodie's. Can you come get me?
Brodie pulled the phone from my hand before I could send the message. "Fine. You want it that way, fine. Now can we go inside and have Grams look at you?"
I kept blinking at him. "What? I don't—" I scrubbed my face with my hand and someone started playing massive, pounding drums in my head. "I just wanna go home," I begged and silent tears fell down my cheeks.
He got out of the truck, and I let my head fall against the seat again. I thought I would just sleep right there, but the passenger door opened and Brodie gently pulled me from the truck.
"Please take me home. I can't get more attached to you, and I can't be your casual friend."
"Shh." He tightened his arm around my waist, and his voice was very soft and almost apologetic. "You're not my casual friend, sunshine, you're my girlfriend."
I could only move my head back and forth twice before the effort was too much for me. "You can't. You said you can't. You're not the boyfriend type."
"You're right; I'm not the boyfriend type. But you're mine, sunshine, and I'm not the type to let you go. If I have to be your boyfriend to be with you then that's what that means." He lifted me into his arms.
"It means no kissing other girls, no touching them, no sex, no Lauren or whatever her name was—you're really ready to give them up?"
He kissed my forehead and carried me to the door. "None of it's worth giving you up."
I was shaking, but it was hard to tell if it was from fear, nervousness, the small bit of happiness I allowed, or how freaking awful I felt. "God, I hope you really mean that."
He set me on my feet and unlocked the door. When he pulled me by the hand into the
house, everything spun a little. I grabbed for Brodie's arm, and he kept hold of me.
"Grams," he said to the woman who was getting up from the couch. She looked young to be a grandma and nice—my sickly body wouldn't let me take in much more than that. Brodie pulled me forward a few more steps. "This is Risa."
The room was so hot, and my heart started beating so fast that I clutched at my chest. Everything got dark really quickly, and my knees just sort of melted under me. I felt Brodie's arms around me, but then everything went black.
I came back to the land of the conscious with the world's worst headache. My throat burned, and my mouth was as dry as the desert. I couldn't make my eyes open, but dragged my hand to my head in a useless attempt to make it stop pounding.
"Risa?" Brodie's voice was high and urgent, and his hands moved to pull me up. "Baby, I need you to drink this."
My throat hurt too badly, though. I didn't want to drink anything. I shook my head and covered my mouth.
An older female voice hovered above me. "Okay, kid, you had your shot, now move over."
"Just give me a minute, Grams," Brodie pleaded.
"Broderick, don't make me tan your hide. We're running out of time here, move it!" If I'd had the energy, even I would have jumped a little at the authority in her voice. I felt Brodie's hands leave me to be replaced by firm hands. "You're dehydrated, Risa. I'm putting a straw to your lips. It's just a lemon-lime sports drink. Take a few sips, or I'll take you to the hospital. Your choice."
Hospital? I felt awful, but hospital? Slowly, I forced myself to sip the drink. It was so hard to swallow. I winced and opened my eyes, moving my hand to my throat, which is when I felt the pain in my neck.
Brodie's grandma took the cup away and felt underneath my jaw. She looked so serious and intense with the same gray eyes as Brodie. I was surprised by her shoulder-length, super-light, almost silver blonde hair, having expected her to have Brodie's dark hair. But she had the same strong nose and full lips.
She stood up. "Brodie, take her up to your room, don't put her under the covers, and turn on your fans. We need to bring down this fever."