Manipulated Read online

  It was bright outside still even though it seemed as if days had passed. My chest felt like an elephant was sitting on it, and my head was still really stuffy, but I didn't feel feverish or so tired I could hardly move. It was certainly a step in the right direction. Brodie was next to me, looking troubled in his sleep. I was tempted to wrap my arms around him and close my eyes again, but my stomach growled, and I had to pee.

  In the bathroom mirror, I scrutinized my face, looking for marks or anything that would indicate I would turn psychotic and murder people—I didn't find anything. I ran my fingers through my hair, nearly skewering myself on my nails. Looking down at them, I couldn't figure out how they'd gotten so long and ugly. I ran them under the water and scrubbed with soap, but there was a hard goo underneath them that felt like concentrated earwax. In Brodie's top drawer, I found a pair of fingernail clippers next to his hairbrush and a box of condoms. It took a lot of restraint, but I didn't check to see how many were missing. I didn't want to know.

  The black digital clock on the wall told me it was almost three in the afternoon. I'd been seriously out of it for twenty-four hours straight. I wondered what my office family thought of my absence. Did Dad call it in or did he just tell Ms. Abbott? Likely, she'd known about my illness since Brodie first called Dad. I washed my face and my growling stomach made me finally leave the bathroom in search of food.

  I was a little worried about going downstairs by myself. What if I got angry? What if Lara was afraid of me? What if Sammy was afraid I'd hurt Lara? I finally told myself to shut up and just bite the bullet. As I closed the door to Brodie's bedroom though, it hit me that I had no idea if Lara and Sammy were decent. That would be embarrassing. So I walked slowly down the stairs. When my feet were visible, I called out, "Hey guys."

  "Risa!" Lara called out excitedly and came running up the stairs. She wrapped her arms around me and smiled so sincerely that my fears vanished. "Do you have your boyfriend's permission to be down here?" She poked me several times in the arm.

  I couldn't help but smile. I hadn't had much time to be happy about the new development or to share it with anyone. It was—scary and exciting and completely unbelievable. "Uh, he's asleep. I escaped for some food."

  "Ah, well, I can help with that." She gestured for me to follow her. "So really, seriously, you have to tell me how you pulled that off. I mean the words Brodie and boyfriend have only come together in sentences pertaining to the boyfriends of the chicks he's slept with. Usually, it involves Brodie beating them up."

  We reached the bottom of the stairs, and Sammy was sprawled out on the couch with his bare feet on the sturdy, maple coffee table. He smiled at me and waved, and I waved back.

  "It happened kind of fast, actually. I don't know." I laughed a little nervously. I remembered the mall, and I remembered he wouldn't take me home, but the rest of what happened felt far away and fuzzy.

  "You told him you didn't want to talk to him anymore," Sammy informed me.

  I nodded absentmindedly. "Yeah. I said that, didn't I?"

  "You didn't mean it?" Lara seemed surprised.

  Of course I'd meant it—in the moment—I think. I know I would have changed my mind eventually and tried to be friends with him just because I couldn't give him up entirely, but I would have walked away from him for a while. "I meant it. Seeing him with those two girls at the mall—" I stared at the ground as the image assaulted me. "I can't handle that again, not now that—" I closed my mouth. I'd nearly blurted out that I was in love with him. I wasn't ready to share all that yet. I looked toward the kitchen. "I'm starving—you think Grams would mind if I stole something from her kitchen?"

  "Hell no," Sammy called out as I walked to the kitchen. "She said you can have anything in this house, especially her grandson."

  I bit my lip over that. It put some pressure on me to make this work with Brodie. I'd never been in a real relationship before—not like with Brodie. I was petrified I'd screw it up and disappoint his grandma and Lara.

  I knew my stomach was still recovering, so I grabbed some bread and popped it into the blue toaster on the counter. I ate a banana while I was waiting and drank a small glass of orange juice, knowing I'd be avoiding fruit punch for the rest of my life.

  Just as I was sitting down at the table to eat my toast with Lara beside me, Sammy gasped. "Holy shit!"

  Lara and I both looked up to Sammy pointing at the TV. He aimed the remote at it while Lara and I moved to see what had caused Sammy to sound amazed and upset.

  "In the quiet area of North Oaks, residents are stunned this afternoon to hear about the behavior of students at Grant High. We're told it started out in the cafeteria with an old-fashioned food fight, but students say it escalated quickly from there. Before administrators and campus police could contain the fight, it moved outside where rocks and bottles were thrown. Hundreds of students were involved in the fight, so many that the Albuquerque Police Department had to step in."

  "Tracy, do we know the motivation behind the fight?"

  "Cray Walker, spokesperson for the Albuquerque School District informed reporters that a large group of students who appeared to be infected with the Setenid Blight virus started arguing in the cafeteria. He says it is unclear what the argument was about or how it managed to escalate so quickly.

  "The CDC has quarantined the entire campus and begun transporting students and staff to the nearby quarantine facility for further evaluation. Local residents are impressed with the CDC's strides in preventing the spread of the infection, but parents are up in arms at the removal of their children without their consent. While there are certainly many questions still to be answered, it is clear that with a campus of over 2200 students, the CDC has its work cut out for them. Tom?"

  "Thank you, Tracy. Now let's go to Grady Walker who's outside American High where a fight between two students has increased racial tensions on campus. Grady?"

  "Earlier today, students told me that relations between Hispanic and African American students have been strained at American High since before they could remember. Today's fight is simply the next level, students say. When sixteen-year-old Jaime Hererra and seventeen-year-old Jamal Jones went after each other during break, the students weren't the least bit surprised. What happened after that however left many with a fear of returning to school."

  "It appears students from both sides jumped into the fight, creating a brawl. When Hererra was the only student to be found and pulled to the office, several Hispanic students ran through campus, voicing their anger at the unequal treatment. They tore down posters, pushed over vending machines, and did as much damage as they could. Campus police and members of the Albuquerque Police Department gang unit were able to get the situation under control, but students are fearful of what is to come when school lets out in another half hour. Tom?"

  "Thank you Grady. There certainly seems to be an increase in aggression on our high school campuses today. Let's hope—"

  "Two high schools with huge fights in one day? You think that's a coincidence?" Lara asked.

  I didn't answer, but returned her very concerned stare. With our recent "infection" and accompanying aggression, I didn't think it was a coincidence at all that high school students around Albuquerque were behaving more violently. But that thought made me worry about Armstrong and Ms. Gunn and Mr. Schrader and Ms. Abbott. What would happen to them if violence broke out on campus? Heading for the stairs, I needed to talk to Dad. He had to warn Ms. Abbott and maybe she could talk to Ms. Gunn.

  Experiences

  Brodie was still asleep when I got back to his room, so I grabbed my cell phone and went out on the balcony.

  Dad picked up on the first ring. "Risa? Are you okay?"

  I felt bad for worrying him. He sounded so panicked. "I'm fine. I feel fine, Dad, even ate a banana and some toast."

  "Oh," he breathed. "You scared the death out of me. You're eating? That's good to hear."

  "Hey, have you talked to Ms. Abbott recently?"

>   He seemed taken aback by my question. "Uh, yeah, this morning. Why?"

  "I was watching the news about the high schools and the fights. I just was thinking maybe she shouldn't be there, you know. Maybe you could call her and tell her to stay home sick for a few days and ask her to tell Ms. Gunn? I don't want to make anyone panic or anything, but I'm just worried about them."

  He was quiet for a minute or two. "I've seen the news coverage, too. I'll call her right now. Who else did you say you wanted me to have her tell?"

  "Ms. Gunn, the principal's secretary and Mr. Schrader. I'm afraid—I just don't want anything to happen to them." The thought alone made me really uneasy.

  "I think maybe owe you an apology, honey. I thought you didn't talk to anyone—didn't have any friends. I—I was wrong wasn't I? I had a bunch of girls like Lara in mind, but that was close-minded of me, and I'm sorry."

  I didn't know what to say to that. It was nice that he was admitting he was wrong, but unnecessary. I thought back to his comment that seemed so long ago. He had been partially right. I didn't have Brodie back then, and I didn't have Lara or Mace. I didn't really even have him. I was still thinking he was just my roomie. "It's okay, Dad. There's a lot we didn't know about each other."

  "There's still so much we don't know. I plan on changing that though, as soon as you're feeling more like yourself."

  My eyes got a little misty. I allowed the warmth and happiness over his words to flow through me. So many times I'd dreamt of my dad taking an interest in me, and now he really was. I smiled and knew he'd hear it in my voice. "I'd like that, Dad."

  "Okay, well I'll give Kelly a call. You go rest and get stronger."

  "Thanks, Dad."

  I stayed out on the balcony for a while, just staring into the distance. Did they know what the vaccine would do when they gave it to us? Was it intentional? I couldn't believe the government would allow something like this. It just seemed like something from some conspiracy movie, not real life. And what were they hoping to gain?

  I didn't have any answers, so I went back into Brodie's room, wondering if the news had any more information. Surely, the media had to have noticed what was going on. I turned the TV on as quietly as I could and sat on the floor in front of it, staring up. They mostly talked about the recent hate crimes around the city and the presence of National Guard soldiers that seemed to be increasing by the hour. One expert briefly mentioned the similarities between what we were seeing and the occurrences that led up to Flagstaff's recent quarantine. I sat up, trying to hear every word about that, but the other expert and the newscaster glossed right over his comment and brought the conversation back to the necessity for stricter laws against hate crimes.

  I reached up and turned off the TV. Why bother watching their crap when they were clueless?

  "How you feeling, sunshine?"

  I turned around and crawled toward the end of the bed where Brodie was laying on his stomach. His voice was so sexy and sleep-roughened that I couldn't help the dreamy smile on my face. "Much better, actually. How 'bout you?"

  He nodded and touched my cheek as I got closer. I put my hand over his, leaning into his touch. The green in his eyes stood out more than it ever had—more than it should—more than—"Brodie, do your eyes change color?"

  "Sometimes. Grams says the gray changes in intensity, and the green comes out a little more. Why?"

  I got up slowly and turned on the light next to the bed, pulling him toward it. When the light illuminated his eyes, I jumped back. They were abnormally green, like he was wearing some crazy contacts or something. It wasn't possible. There was no way—

  "Risa? What is it?" He grabbed for my hand and stood up.

  "Your eyes, you're—they're—" I gestured to the bathroom, unable to say much more.

  He rushed to the mirror and looked so sad with his eyes closed, his head hung low, and the corners of his mouth turned down. "It's the infection. The final stage from what Grams and your dad could get from the message boards they went through. It means I'm fully infected."

  "So Sammy and I—"

  He nodded, keeping his eyes closed. "Your eyes will change too." Abruptly he turned and pulled me close to him, staring intently into my eyes. "You have the most beautiful blue eyes, baby. I don't wanna forget that. That day Scianna pushed me into you—your eyes drew me to you."

  I remembered his comment about my eyes and how cheesy it had sounded at the time. "My waterfall eyes?" I laughed.

  He kissed the tip of my nose. "Yes, your waterfall eyes. Sometimes they look like water breaking against the rocks and sometimes they make me feel like I'm staring into the deep blue of a pool that goes on forever."

  I pinched his ribs lightly. "When did you get to be so poetic?"

  "Hmm." The smile fell slowly from his face, and he gave me that puzzle-piece look again. "I, uh, I guess I haven't really used my skills on you—the lines I usually run or—I haven't have I?"

  I poked him in the chest. "Are you calling me easy? That I've fallen for you without you putting in any effort at all?"

  The bright green of his eyes darkened, and I had no idea what it meant until he put his lips to mine. Softly, sweetly, he kissed me, his partially open mouth brushing against mine again and again until I threaded my fingers through his short, dark hair and pulled him into me. Our tongues met in a tangle, and the intensity of the kiss magnified exponentially in a heartbeat. His hands were on my waist, guiding me backward. I was so intent upon the craziness he made me feel that I didn't even know where we were in the room until he pushed me back onto the bed.

  When he pulled his shirt off in one quick movement, my eyes immediately scanned his hard chest. I sat up to run my fingers along his muscles, but he distracted me by pulling my shirt up over my head. He pulled and sucked at the skin along my neck. My naked chest against his was as overpowering as it had been before, and I found myself clinging to him, trying to pull him closer to me.

  He kept moving against me in the most intense way, kissing me where he knew I'd go insane, and running his hands down my legs and back up again. I don't know how long he trapped me in the haze of my own serious need for him, but when I couldn't take it anymore, I reached down to pull off my shorts. I was shocked when he didn't stop me. My excitement and anticipation died though, when I reached for his shorts and, of course, he put his hand over mine, preventing me from tugging them off his body.

  He stared at me so sweetly and brushed my hair away from my face. "You really think you're ready for me to make love to you?"

  My heart stopped. Make love? Make love? Did he really just say those words? I never ever thought he'd refer to sex as making love. He'd called it popping my cherry, scratching an itch, and taking care of a problem, but make love? I didn't want to point it out. I tried to bite the inside of my lip and keep my mouth shut. Don't scare him off, I told myself. Don't mention it. And still, it slipped from my mouth. "Make love?" I sounded frightened, and it took me a minute to realize I was. I wanted him to love me, but I was so afraid he'd say it and not mean it.

  His smile stayed precisely as it was before I'd spoken, but it completely did not reach his eyes. They'd gone from a dark hunter green to the color of grass. "What?" he finally asked, sounding confused.

  I swallowed hard and looked away from him. "Nothing. Nevermind." I tried to smile or look relaxed, but my heart was thundering in my ears. His weight on top of me, so close and warm, made me wiggle my hips a little, wishing we could go back to where we were before.

  He kissed my neck softly, but it did nothing to calm me down. It only brought back the need to move against him all the more. He sucked gently at my skin, and a small moan escaped my lips. Was I ready? We'd talked about sex. We talked about his past and testing for STDs, and he knew I was in love with him. The only thing we hadn't discussed according to Ms. Abbott's guidelines was how it would affect me.

  "Brodie, can you—are you—" His fingers slid through the sides of my underwear, making my breath catch in the b
ack of my throat. "If we—" I couldn't get my brain to form complete sentences. "Wait." I pushed against him lightly, and he stopped immediately.

  His lopsided grin was full of arrogance. "Is there a problem, sunshine?" He ran his fingers along my bottom lip, which felt swollen from his kisses.

  "We need to talk first."

  "What do you want to know, angel?"

  Angel? Sara's comment about him not remembering the name of the girl he's in bed with launched from the back of my thoughts straight at me, splattering along the wall behind my eyelids. "What if this changes us? What if you change and go back to—will this make me more—" I looked down at his chin feeling scared and jealous. What if it got worse? What if I became really needy and clingy and he didn't want to be around me anymore? It took him a while just to accept that I loved him. What if I loved him even more after we had sex? "Are you—even okay with me, uh, that I love you? What if I—what if I feel more and you—"

  "Shh." He pressed his lips to mine for just a moment. "I wasn't expecting you to—to—"

  "Love you?" I supplied.

  He nodded. "But when it comes to sex, baby, I have a pretty good idea what will happen. I'm not a girl, obviously, but I've been around enough to have a good idea of how you'll feel about me after."

  Well that was good. He was prepared. But I wasn't. "And how will I feel about you after?"

  "Everyone's different, but you probably will be more attached to me, feel closer to me."

  I stared back at his chin. "And will you be okay with that? What if I'm needy and clingy? I don't even know if you're really okay with the whole boyfriend thing."

  "You know me. It takes me a while to make up my mind, but when I do, that's it. I wanna be with you. I don't really know much about—you know, being a boyfriend, but I know I don't wanna lose you. It's still hard to believe how you feel about me, but—"His lips turned up in a wide smile. "It's—good. It makes me—" He let out a heavy breath. "I don't, baby, it's really new for me. But remember what I said? I like that I'm the only one you'll give in to?" I gave a small nod, and he put his hand on my cheek. "I've never wanted someone to need me before. It's different with you. And sunshine, you've tried to push me away a hundred times. Sex doesn't turn you into an entirely different person. You're still gonna have that independent streak, and I hope you'll always give in to me, but I don't want you to do something you're not ready for. There are other ways I can make you feel good."